Trading My Soul for a Paycheck
A few weeks ago, I kindly, professionally, and with all the compassion and respect I could muster, gave Corporate America a metaphoric middle finger.
Now, before you go and picture a midlife woman rage-quitting or firing off a scathing exit email, let me be clear: this wasn’t an act of anger or bitterness—it was an internal wake-up call. A profound realization that who I am at my core, and the value I bring to my work, simply doesn’t fit within the predefined limitations and structures of most corporate roles.
My Ladder Was Missing Some Rungs
Somewhere along my climb up the ladder of “success,” I realized my ladder was missing several rungs—and quite possibly leaning against the wrong wall entirely. For the past decade, I’ve tried to squeeze into roles that either limited my growth or stifled my creativity, authenticity, and intuition. I was ultimately trading what made me unique and valuable—what felt like my soul—for the security of a paycheck.
No one forced me into these roles, and none of this was intentional. By most measures, I’ve had a very successful career. I’ve been surrounded by supportive colleagues and leaders who genuinely wanted to help me find the right fit. Yet even when I helped write the job description, I still couldn’t reconcile what I thought I was signing up for with how I was being asked to show up.
The Misalignment of Multidimensional Strengths
Over the past several years, I have noticed a recurring pattern: roles that looked perfect on paper often misaligned with the multidimensional strengths I bring—strategy, intuition, creativity, and influence—and my drive to empower people to do their best work.
The truth is, Corporate America rewards people who operate on a single axis. It rewards people who excel at organization, operations, processes, or team management within tightly defined lanes. Its structures weren’t designed to leverage the kind of full-spectrum contribution I thrive on. As long as I continued to show up each day misaligned—knowing in my core that I had incredible value to give but wasn’t allowed to carry that value across the threshold—I would eventually move from discouragement to resentment. And bitterness is an emotion that does not look good on me.
Hitting the Eject Button
I wanted to believe I could negotiate the impossible balance — that I could find a space in Corporate America where my strengths could be fully valued, even when it meant enduring profound discomfort. But the moment I recognized my integrity wasn’t aligning with the shackles of hierarchy, I understood I wasn’t hitting the eject button on my career; I was creating the space for a new and vital possibility.
So I jumped. I summoned all the courage I could find—borrowing some from my husband, friends, children, and colleagues—and broke free from the safety of a paycheck for the hope of finding that always-sought-after but so-very-elusive experience: fulfillment.
As I move forward on this new journey, I will honor my gifts by exploring ways to fully express my multidimensional self.
My aim is to engage in work that feels meaningful—where strategy, creativity, and human connection come together—allowing me to learn while making a real difference. I believe there is a place in Corporate America for someone like me and that we can find a balance between meaningful contribution and structural demands. And yet, this leap serves as a reminder that sometimes the only way forward is out.
